Too Many Crooks
By Maz McCoy
Kid Curry leaned against a large boulder, twirled his gun a few times and dropped it smoothly into his holster. He adjusted his hat against the sun’s glare and looked over to where Heyes and several of the Devil’s Hole Gang were going through a rehearsal of the leader’s plan to rob the newly built bank in Pickering. Heyes had carefully laid out rocks and logs to represent the various parts of the bank and the significant entry points. Now, as Kid watched, he was explaining each man’s job during the raid.
“Kyle, you will enter the bank through the side window with me and Kid.” Heyes walked over to a large boulder that was standing in for the window.
“Do you want me to bring dynamite?” Kyle asked, moving to stand beside the rock.
“Yes, but we shouldn’t need it. I can open this one.”
Heyes strode across the clearing.
“Lobo. You and Preacher will keep watch, here…” Heyes took several strides to another well placed log. “And here.”
“Am I by the rock or the log?” Lobo asked.
“The log,” Heyes decided.
“And the log is the side door?”
“No, the log is the side window.”
“I thought I was at the side window?” Kyle called.
“You are Kyle, this is the other side window.”
“Then how come it’s not a log?” Kyle spat a gloop of tobacco juice into a bush.
“It doesn’t have to be a log,” Heyes explained.
“But if it’s a window…”
“It’s just a representation of a window…” Heyes tried to explain.
“So why ain’t it a log? Lobo’s…presen…repress…represation is a log.”
“Kyle just stand by the rock okay?” Heyes gave the small man a look and Kyle knew to be quiet.
Kid smiled, drew his gun fast, twirled it and dropped it back into the holster.
“Now,” Heyes began confidently as he walked towards a pile of branches. “This is the safe.”
“Don’t look much like a safe,” Wheat observed, as he leaned against a tree.
Heyes shot him a look and Wheat fidgeted uncomfortably.
“I will open it while you all keep watch.”
“And if you can’t?” Wheat asked as he pushed off the tree. He received another look.
“Then Kyle brings over the dynamite.”
“How much should I bring Heyes?”
“The usual, Kyle.” Heyes told him. Kyle smiled and a gloop of tobacco juice hit the top of a boulder.
“Where d’you want me to be?” Wheat asked.
“Back here with the horses.” Heyes walked past Kyle to another large boulder.
“I ain’t waiting with the horses!” Wheat snapped.
“Get one of the new guys to do that.”
“I’m asking you to do it, Wheat. I want to be sure the horses are there when we have to ride out.”
“I said I’m not….”
“Wheat!” It was just one word, but everyone knew what Kid Curry meant.
The dark-haired man backed down.
“I was just saying, that’s all.”
“The horses are over here…” Heyes continued, standing beside a boulder.
“I thought that was the side window?” Kyle remarked.
“No, that’s the side window.” Heyes pointed.
“But you said that was the side window.” Kyle pointed to a boulder.
“It is, but it is between the rock and the log!” Heyes told him sharply.
“But this window only has a log,” Lobo pointed out and Heyes shot him a look of disbelief.
“My window is only a log. Should I have a rock too?”
“It’s just a representation!”
“But if they’s reprasationed by different things how we gonna know what’s where?” Kyle asked.
“Because…” Exasperated, Heyes looked at Kid, his eyes pleading for some help. Kid smiled drew his gun fast, twirled it and dropped it back into the holster. Heyes took a deep breath. “This is the side window you come in.”
He pointed to a boulder and Kyle nodded.
“This is the side window you will be guarding.”
He pointed to a log and Lobo nodded.
“This is where you wait with the horses.”
He pointed and Wheat nodded.
“Now is everyone clear?”
They all nodded, just as Preacher walked out of the main cabin.
“Heyes, Mike said you wanted to see me?”
“I need to go over the plan with you, Preacher.”
“You gotta stand by the log cos that’s the side door,” Kyle told him.
“No, it’s the rock.” Heyes shot a look at Kyle.
“What’s the rock?” Preacher asked.
“The rock is where you keep watch.”
“Why have I gotta wait by a rock?”
“You don’t have to wait by a rock!”
“Well then what’s the rock for?”
“It’s not for anything!” Heyes couldn’t believe a plan could be this difficult to explain.
“Well, why we taking the rock if we don’t need it?” Preacher asked.
“We’re not taking the rock!”
“It’s a represation!” Kyle explained.
“Of what?” Preacher looked at Heyes. Kyle looked at Heyes. Lobo looked at Heyes. Heyes looked at Kid.
“Just shoot ‘em all will you?” he asked.
Kid smiled and walked towards his friend. He put a comforting hand on Heyes’ shoulder.
“You know what they say, Heyes.”
Two brown eyes looked up.
“Too many crooks spoil the plot.”