The Best Laid Plans by Maz McCoy

“He is mine”, Maz typed. “Mine I tell you!”
***
“Mister Jones, would you have dinner with me this evening?” Miss Porter smiled demurely. Kid Curry shot a swift glance at his partner. Heyes smiled knowingly from behind the bank teller’s grill. “I thought we could discuss the security arrangements for the bank, in more detail.”
Kid smiled. “I’d like that ma’am.”
“Shall we say 6.30?”
“I’ll pick you up then.” He touched the brim of his hat and she smiled again.
Miss Porter stepped out of the bank, her mind on her dinner with the handsome Mr Jones. She would wear her favourite white dress and tie her hair back with a matching ribbon. He was sure to notice. Yes, she would like it if he noticed. She stepped down from the boardwalk and a pounding of horses’ hooves startled her. Miss Porter was mown down by a runaway wagon.
***
Maz McCoy skulked in the shadows as Mary Cunningham stood in her office and cried. Kid Curry, a battered and beaten Kid Curry, leaned against the wall arms folded across his chest, trying his best to look unaffected by the woman’s tears. Maz liked him bruised and brooding. Her hand went towards the lever of the trap door she had persuaded the unsuspecting stage hand to install. Heyes took a step forward and grabbed Mary by the arms. Maz breathed a sigh of relief. Heyes was the one interrogating her; he was the one consoling her. It was Heyes’ hands on her arms. Not Kid’s. The woman was safe. Maz took her hand away from the lever.
***
The train rumbled on towards Brimstone. In the carriage filled with Bannerman detectives Kid Curry and Hannibal Heyes looked nervously around them. Harry Briscoe stood up and addressed the men before him. “Gentlemen, we are indebted to this brave young woman.” He pointed to the blond Sara Blaine and went on to explain how she claimed to know Kid Curry.
So she knew Kid Curry did she?
The detectives raised their six-guns in celebratory salute. One detective still clad in a woman’s garb raised her gun too. When the train gave a sudden jolt and a shot was fired, the detectives put Ms. Blaine’s demise down to sheer bad luck.
***
As the train rattled on Annabelle leaned back against the boxcar wall and smiled at Thaddeus. He was a handsome man; a man of the world. He smiled as she informed him of her desire to have authentic experiences.
“CUT!” The director turned to the assembled crew. “Okay who spoke?” No one answered. “I know someone muttered something. Sounded like I bet you do. Can we keep it quiet people?” He turned his attention back to the scene. “Okay, let’s take it from Annabelle’s line.”
Anabelle lifted her eyes to the handsome young man seated with her in the boxcar. She pushed to her feet and moved to the open boxcar doorway. “It’s so beautiful out here.”
“It is,” Kid agreed.
Annabelle reached out her hand to feel the breeze on her palm. “I feel as if I could reach out and…”
Kid’s mouth dropped open in startled surprise as she was whisked away by a mail bag hook. He was swiftly on his feet and peering out of the door. Ooh not pleasant. He looked away. At least if he found some food, he wouldn’t have to share it.
***
Grace dipped her feet in the cool water. It was so refreshing after the long hours in the cramped stagecoach. Although spending those hours with Thaddeus was a bonus. She smiled. She had plans for Thaddeus.
“You all right, Grace?” he asked from his sentry post beyond the bushes and she informed him that she was. After a while Grace stepped from the pool and reached for her clothes. The rattle stopped her. The snake flicked its tongue at her sensing her presence.
“Thaddeus,” she whispered.
Kid thought he heard her cry and was quickly on his feet. Unfortunately the snake struck and bit Grace before he got there.
“I thought we were using stock footage of a snake, not the real thing,” the director queried. He looked down at the dead woman. This could save everyone a lot of time and effort, especially the money for those extras employed to set up that darn shell game.
***
Betsy spurned Kid’s offer to carry her packages. She was in love with Auggy. Maz liked this woman and made a mental note to buy some matches so to be ready when a man needed his cigar lit like that.
***
Their horses gone, as they clamoured to find the root of all evil, money, they had to walk long miles back to town. Stopping to cool their feet in a stream Kid gently splashed water over Margaret’s pretty young legs. Margaret, the floozy, was clearly enjoying the attention from the handsome blond cowboy. So besotted with Thaddeus was she that she failed to notice the alligator until it was too late.
“Sheesh,” said Kid as Margaret disappeared from sight. “Who knew they were even in these parts?”
***
“Heyes have you noticed how every time I get to likin’ a woman something terrible happens to her?”
“Yep.” Heyes rode a little in front of Kid and ducked his head as they made their way through the trees. As Kid pondered the women he had literally loved and lost, Heyes considered the mystery of the poker game. And at that moment a shot rang out!

In his search for information about the victims of the poker game Kid found himself in the saloon.
“I’m Helen,” said the beautiful young woman.
“I’m Jones.”
“Hello, Jones.”
The scene cut to Helen’s boudoir. Kid sat back on the couch and watched as Helen approached, except this was a different Helen. For some reason they seemed to have changed actresses. He was unaware that the real actress employed to play Helen was locked in her dressing room, her costume stolen by the imposter. The new Helen leaned closer to the prone cowboy. The scene began….
“And cut!” the director shouted. “Great scene, although next time remember this is going out in the afternoon, so let’s not make it THAT realistic a kiss!”
Helen chuckled, a satisfied smile on her face.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Rachel, had been injured by her latest attempt to own a modern appliance. Her demise was the result of the 5th vacuum.
***

The crowd in the saloon waited to hear what song the pretty new singer would perform next. They had been unimpressed by her first slow rendition of what sounded like a French love song. Michele Monet picked up her guitar. She caught Kid Curry’s eye as she plucked at the strings. Maybe a rousing version of ‘Do like I do’ would be more appropriate for this venue. She braced herself. Perhaps she could enlist the help of Joshua and Thaddeus? Unfortunately a freak guitar string accident ended both the song and her time in San Juan.
***
Maz ticked off Michelle’s name on her list. They were coming to the end of the first season and there was only one potential competitor left. A woman named Alice. Maz sat at the side of the set watching as the boys sauntered into the saloon. They were trail-dusty and unshaven. Gotta love a cowboy. Music began to play and…Sheesh a floozy was being lowered from the ceiling. Maz’s scientific brain went speedily into action. She calculated the height of the seat, angle of the rope, mass to height ratio to angle of the thingy to the what’s-it and…Alice’s career was cut short when the bird cage she was swinging in fell on her.

Muhaha!

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The Best Laid Plans by Maz McCoy

  1. Oh Ms. McCoy, you made me laugh so hard. Are you doing seasons 2 & 3? if mere aquaintances? merit such fates, what would be in store for BeeGee?

  2. Hahaha!! Excellent! Funny how you have put into words the exact feelings I also had as I watched each and every show for the first time so long ago…..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s